Excuuuuuuuuse Me, Mr. Semi Truck Driver

After running errands with Ella today we were on the highway going home. We ended up behind two semi's, normally not an issue but the first semi was going a little slow. Also the roads were pretty wet because we got a little snow and rain this morning. I being in a car, decided it wasn't worth using up all my blue stuff and constantly cleaning my windshield. (I was a good distance back but man can they spray water.)

Well, sections of the highway will open up to a two mile passing lane, to help keep traffic moving, and I was coming up on one. As I am starting to accelerate, and the "fast" lane opens up, I put on the blinker, move over and I am gaining speed. WELL, semi number two (the one directly in front of me) decided, it was OK to just move over and cut me off. I had to hit the breaks so I wouldn't get hit. It's like being elbowed out of the way! Now, I am right behind a semi spraying dirty road water all over my car, like it's the mommy elephant and I am it's baby. My windshield wipers were on maximum speed which I don't even use in torrential downpours because even they aren't this bad. As semi two caught up to semi one, I experienced a second shower turning on as I was now being sprayed by both trucks. I was able to get in front of them both before the lane ended. I made it through the storm.

I was so ticked, I wanted to flip the bird but I never really have the guts to do that.........EVER. Plus Ella is always watching (even though she appeared to be napping, no bad habits). Seriously though, just because you are bigger than me, does not mean you can throw your weight around and expect everyone to just get out of your way! Isn't that one of the definitions of a bully, physical force??? Obviously, it worked, I moved, but still, shame on you!

Anyone have a similar story?

The Joys Of Toddlers

Even with all the challenges that come with toddlers, I am loving our experience with Ella as she is in the early stages of toddler hood. I am looking forward to all the things she will be starting to do over the next year. I am also looking forward to the warmer weather and all the things we couldn't do together last Spring and Summer. Such as playing outside more, now that she can walk and run....and doesn't put everything she finds in her mouth.

With her getting older, so much more of her personality is coming out. I am loving that she is becoming more affectionate now that she knows it is one way we show we love someone. Hearing her actually talk, watching her run, dance and play. These are things I think people forget about toddlers. You usually hear, "Oh, you have a toddler? ....... Good Luck." I don't see it that way. Yes, toddlers can be challenging, but the rewards from toddlers are so much more. When they run up to you, stand on their tip toes, and turn their face up towards you with puckered lips, nothing is better. It warms your insides faster than hot chocolate on a snowy day. All naughtiness and tantrums from the day are forgotten.

It is such a limited time that we get with our toddlers, while they are really learning and starting so many new things. I am currently enjoying Ella barking at the dog, dancing anytime there is music on, wanting to sit in my lap reading book after book. Everyday I am amazed by her and so grateful that I get to be home with her as much as I am. I am enjoying every minute the good, the bad and the ugly. You only get one shot at your child's toddler years and this is when you lay the foundation for the person they will be in years to come. That is pretty exciting.

The Importance Of Grandparents

Due to recent events, I have been thinking of all the wonderful memories I have with my grandparents. I am ashamed to say that it took them being on the brink of death that put them back to the forefront of my mind. I know as you get older you have less time for many things. After getting married and having Ella, not to mention that my grandparents are almost an hour away, I haven't spent nearly as much time with them as I used to. I am however grateful that we were with them both for the holidays. Maybe I should cut myself a little slack, I did spend a lot of time with them over the years. I am just more upset with myself for taking them for granted and thinking they will always be here.

I was fortunate enough to have wonderful grandparents. Not just my mother's parents, but my dad's too. My paternal grandpa passed when I was only four. I only have a few memories of him, but they are good ones. As I think about how much I am going to miss mine, I am so grateful for how much time I spent with them over the years. I also wonder why so many people don't make more of a priority for their parents and kids to make memories together. I understand if the seperation is to keep your child safe, like your mother is crazy and your father is abusive, but usually that isn't the case. Like me people just become busy. I just think about how much I love my parents, and my in laws, and especially how much I love my daughter and I want her to know them. I want to share her with her grandparents. Grandparents can teach so many wonderful things. They have amazing stories to tell and outlooks on life your child can gain from someone who isn't mom or dad. (Which is a good thing, they just might listen to it more.)

I feel like with every generation, especially when kids get a little older, grandparents aren't a priority anymore. Kids don't know anything about their grandma's or grandpa's life story. They are missing out on all the things grandparents can teach them. I know I will always encourage Ella to talk to her grandparents and let them teach her a few things. I want Ella to have memories with her grandparents like I do with mine.

Whoa, Life!

The last three weeks have been the longest, most stressful weeks I have had in a long time. Which is why the posts have been more scarce these past weeks, especially the most recent. I told you all, we had colds a few weeks ago. Also that I went back to work part time. Going back to work hasn't been as smooth of a transition as I would have hoped. The reasons are as follows.

First, we all were sick. Ella, in particular. Her second ever cold, lead to her first ear infection, which lead to her first round of antibiotics, which apparently has caused her first yeast infection. On top of that she is cutting six, yes, you read that correctly, SIX teeth right now. They are all on top, the middle four and also a set of molars. In addition to all that is going on with her little body, she is having an eczema flair up, all over her body, which she is itching at like crazy. All my usual creams and tricks are slow to help.

Second, not only did my maternal Grandpa pass away, (who I was very close too) after a stroke and a week on hospice. We also found out right before he passed, my maternal Grandma has cancer, that is in her lungs, liver and lymph nodes, we are told it looks aggressive. (Does anyone have some good news??? Anyone??? Anyone at all???)

Last besides the above and very obvious reasons, sleeping is not an easy task at my house right now. With Ella, I don't know if it's the teeth, me going back to work, or her just not feeling well, but she wakes up so much at night now and isn't napping very well during the day. My once rock star sleeper is waking up several times a night, crying and is refusing to nap regularly. All of that is so unlike her, not only does she never cry, she likes being in her crib. I don't know if the naps are because a few times I had to leave for work during her nap, and Nick said she woke up looking for me. It could be her teeth, it could also be we are trying to transition to one nap a day. I have no idea and that is really frustrating. Obviously, the less sleep Ella gets, the less I get.

I know everyone has rough spots. I also know I am far better off than so many others, and I am grateful. I still have to wonder though, when will my life go back to "normal'? My normal, anyway. At the very least, no more bad news, pleeeaaaaaasse!!!!

It's Valentine's Day, So What?

So it's Valentine's Day and honestly, I don't think I really care about most of it. I said Happy Valentine's Day to my husband this morning but what does that really mean? I also told him I love him, which I do every morning when we wake up. Now some may say Valentine's Day is a day to be with your significant other, romance, chocolate, flowers, cards, dinner and diamonds maybe? I am not opposed to these ideas but honestly, why do we associate these things with Valentine's Day. Because we are told to. I would much rather have my husband and I make a big deal about our anniversary, that is our day. Not only that, I want to have time with Nick, romance, dinner and chocolate every day of the year. I can get a card whenever, same with flowers. Diamonds, I have them on my wedding band, I don't need any more than that.

So I have to wonder, why wait for one day (maybe two days a year if you count your anniversary) to treat your spouse to extra special attention and show and/or tell them how much you love them. Everyday can be special, everyday is an opportunity to tell them you love them, that you can't live without them. Even five minutes a day is enough to just stop, give your spouse your undivided attention. It makes such a difference in your everyday lives and how you treat each other. I also extend this to the rest of my family and friends. It shouldn't take a special occasion or a holiday.

I know our busy lives make it difficult and we usually put ourselves and our spouses last on the never ending list of stuff. Valentine's Day is a reminder to make time for your significant other. I just think we should all (myself included) try to make more time for our spouse's because a happy spouse usually means a happy you. It goes hand in hand, you show your spouse love and affection and just offer some time and they will do the same for you.

Happy Valentine's Day! ( I guess to me, I am wishing you a day filled with love, but I wish that for everyone, everyday.)

Changes Brought On By Motherhood

The majority of the population changes upon having a baby. For some they change dramatically, others only subtly. I would put myself somewhere in the middle. (Although I am not sure everyone I know would agree, they would probably put me in that first category.) I wasn't a big drinker, nor did I like to go out all that often, from those aspects I haven't changed much. For others that would be the biggest lifestyle change. Their social life.

Now I think the biggest change for most people is you go from being your number one priority to your baby coming first. For me, it was very natural, I don't even think about it. Whatever is best for Ella is what I do. I wasn't really a selfish person (I don't think, anyway) but I did and got what I wanted. After Ella, I started making sacrifices, with my time, what I spend on myself and needs and eventually what we eat. All just so she could have more or have better. I used to do hair on the side just so I had extra spending money for myself, new shoes, clothes, books, whatever. After having Ella, it's usually spent on things for her; books, toys, clothes, pajamas.

I want to be with her all the time, I hardly ever leave her (not super healthy I know, but I do work part time so we aren't together 24/7). Is it fair to my friends? To Nick? Definitely not. I know I should do things apart from her, not just for work. To have fun or time with my husband, but I am so happy with her. I enjoy being with her so much, I have fun, I laugh, we play, dance and read. I also know this is the only child we are going to have and I don't want to miss a minute of it. I am just thoroughly enjoying motherhood. This will be my only chance, I will never get another one. (We only ever wanted one)

Maybe I have changed more dramatically than I thought I would, who knows maybe it was a big change. All I know is instead of just being a good person, I now want to be the best mother I can be.  Becoming a parent is a BIG DEAL. You are responsible for another life and how they turn out. So I guess that is pretty big. What was the biggest change in your life after your child was born?

Counting Sheep

I could not sleep last night. We are talking laying awake from 9:30 p.m. until about 12:30 a.m. I do not know exactly when I feel asleep, I just know when I finally did check the clock it was 12:15 a.m. I have NO idea why but my brain would not shut off. It was thinking about every little thing I have to do in the next week. I tried my usual meditation and listening to my breathing, obviously that worked great, yeah not so much. That usually works. Then I tried relaxing my body, one body part at a time, starting at my toes. That didn't work either. I tried every trick I know for falling asleep and it just would not come to me. I am pretty sure sleep was evading me for three reasons, well maybe four.

Reason Number One: I did not have my usual cup of bedtime tea. I really like Celestial's Sleepytime Vanilla. I know, there isn't proof that these work, but hey they seem to work for me. Just drinking them when they are warm and I'm all cozy in my jammies just relaxes both my body and mind. It's like that cup of tea tells my body we are winding down for the night.

Reason Number Two: I did not read before bed. I usually read every single night, I have since I was a kid. Why? Because it helps me to fall asleep. Last night however, I had done some Yoga before bed meant for relaxing and getting ready to sleep, which I do several nights a week, I felt tired enough to just climb in bed. WRONG! I shut my lamp off and my brain was running a marathon. I thought I would try some relaxing techniques and I would nod off, nope. Nice try though, my brain was saying to me. At least I know not to look at the clock, because then you just start stressing about how many hours you have left that you could be sleeping and it just keeps you awake longer. You see I need to read because it lets my mind stop thinking about what I need to do and focus on the story. Then I just read until my eyes wont stay open, and I'm good. I'm asleep, well except for last night. I shouldn't have been so stubborn and just turned my light back on and read for a half hour, but I was in a game of will power with my self last night. I sure showed me. In retrospect, that would have been the logical thing to do. I just kept thinking "No, you will go to sleep"

Reason Number Three: I just could not get comfortable. I had a little bit of a queasy stomach all day so it did not help either. Usually just snuggling up to Nick would get me to fall asleep, but his bony little butt was digging into my nauseous tummy. So that didn't work like I had planned. I tossed and turned.........and tossed some more. I tried chewing some Tums, (hey that is all I had) but that did not work either.

A Possible Reason Number Four: I am not a big consumer of pop and caffeine but yesterday, as I was running errands, the desire to have some Dr. Pepper hit. I swung through the McDonald's drive through to get one and saw that all sizes were a buck and I was super thirsty. I got the large one. This was at about 11:00 a.m. I don't know if that had anything to do with it, but like I said I don't get a lot of caffeine on a daily basis and I am guessing that might have been close to a shock to my system.

So sometime after midnight I finally fell asleep, to be woken up just after 4:00 a.m. when Nick was cuddling and groping me in his sleep. I think I finally fell back asleep around 6:00 a.m. when Nick went to work. Ella got up at 7:30 a.m. This is going to be a very long day, I will not be getting another Dr. Pepper either, just in case.

Sort Of Spring Cleaning

I know it's not quite Spring, but I have a bug up my butt to get to the cleaning part. I am also planning on having a garage sale for all the things I have accumulated in like the last seven years??? Something like that. I just know my closet's are overflowing, my shoe and purse bins wont close and many of it I haven't used in years. I have more coats than I can count on my fingers AND toes. I love clothes and I love fashion but the truth of the matter is I really don't have very many places to wear all these things anymore. I mean I suppose I COULD get all dressed up to go grocery shopping, no one would have to know I came from home and that I am going right back, but that just seems a little silly and more than a little crazy. Beautiful suits and dresses and heels, fill half my daughter's closet, I used to fill up all of it until she came along, thank goodness for nesting! Actually her whole room was my closet, and that is a little sad because we live in a 2 bedroom house. (In my defense, the basement is not finished.)

It's not that I am a pack rat, it's just that I love clothes and have many different aspects to my personality and used clothes to showcase it. Now as I am getting older I am finding that not only am I gravitating towards one main style I also don't want to look like I am trying to stay 21. All those things are in bags to be sold or donated. It really gives me a good sense of calm when I get a bunch of things cleaned out. Like I said I am not a pack rat and I hate things to be out of place. I hate a lot of clutter. I also know someday my daughter will need her entire closet when her clothes are more young adult size. All that being said, I just don't want to throw out everything now that I am not going to an office everyday. Plus I will have situations that will come along where I will need these clothes, so it would be silly to get rid of it all, just to buy new stuff later.

As it gets closer to the garage sale date, I am sure I will go through everything again and bag up some more things. I still need to go through Ella's clothes and toys. I have at least four garbage bags of clothes she has grown out of, that I need to find the few things I want to keep of hers and bag up the rest for my Spring garage sale. Maybe I'm just itching for Spring in general.

When Mommies Get Sick

As I mentioned previously, a very bad cold is going through our house. Ella got it from Nick, which also gave her, her very first ear infection. Nick is just about better, Ella is definitely starting the home stretch, while I am in full swing.

To top it all off, I had my first full week at my new part time job, I sure wasn't going to call in sick my first week, especially with it being just a cold. Not only did I feel horrible, I felt bad leaving Ella while she was sick. What is it with Mom's and the self inflicting guilt we have over leaving our children. I may possibly be one of the worst offenders, I hate leaving Ella, and not because I don't trust anyone to take care of her, I do. It's just I really enjoy being with her.

Now when Mommy is sick, the house isn't as clean, there is a pile of laundry to do, beds are not made, dirty dishes are on the counter and meals are not as extravagant. It was quite a bit of soup and grilled cheese, and toast. Poor Nick, I think he has been living on corn dogs. Nick helped a lot but there are some things he just doesn't do, like make the beds and hey, I wasn't going to complain, half the time I was in it.

Here is to a fast recovery!

Things No One Told Me About Pregnancy

Now we all know, when I got pregnant with Ella it was a surprise, the best surprise I have ever given myself, I must say and certainly the best surprise EVER from Nick. However, just as much as the pregnancy was a surprise, pregnancy "symptoms" were an additional surprise that I had no idea I would be experiencing!


First and foremost, I was never told by any pregnant person or movie that nightmares can happen when you are pregnant because your hormones are so out of whack. I am not talking your everyday nightmares either, I am talking seriously morbid and disturbing dreams that made me cry and scream in my sleep and Nick would have to wake me up. That would then be followed by at least a half hour of just sobbing while he tried to calm me down but, of course, I am pregnant and therefore incredibly emotional. They were so real and vivid and scary. It was way worse than any "normal" nightmare I ever had. I stopped watching CSI and it helped, a little.


Something else nobody ever thought to tell me was feeling your baby move can make you nauseous. Yes my friends, that can happen. As wonderful, amazing and awe-inspiring as it was to feel Ella move. There were days when her little internal gymnastics routines would send me running to the bathroom. I was predisposed to nausea anyway, as I was one of the unlucky preggo's that not only got "morning sickness" (yeah, right) all day long. I coincidentally didn't escape from it after the first trimester, either. (Just one more thing I was never told can happen.) I was told most women aren't sick after the first trimester, until it happened to me and I started asking around and found out that wasn't entirely true.

Another "symptom" of pregnancy I was never foretold about was severe constipation, which ultimately leads to hemorrhoids. While I knew most women ended up with them AFTER delivery, I had no idea that they can really "pop out" at anytime. I wont say much more than this as I don't want to alarm and/or gross anyone out but the day I discovered mine, with the assistance of a hand mirror, all I could think was "my ass has petals, it looks like a flower" and then I cried a lot.


The last "symptom" I would like to discuss is your bladder on pregnancy. While everyone knows pregnant women pee a lot, nobody and I mean NOBODY told me, you should not attempt to hold it while pregnant. I learned this the hard way. Let me paint the scene for you. I was sitting at my desk at my old job as a customer service rep. I had just drank roughly 24oz of water in the previous hour when the urge to go hit me. I only had 5 minutes until my break, "I can hold it" I thought confidently to myself. No I couldn't, I sneezed out of nowhere and I wet myself, not to the point of empty, but I sure walked swiftly and directly to the ladies room. There I obviously did my business and I threw my underwear away. At least it hadn't gotten to my pants.

There are many other things I was never told about pregnancy, what would or could happen. Those that I discussed were my biggest shocks, a long with a few others I just wont mention. Honestly, I'm guessing no one wants to know, hey, maybe that is why I was never told about them in the first place.

In addition, I think most books "sugar coat" what pregnancy is like. To be honest, I'm pretty sure all the chemicals that are released by your brain after you have your baby, you know, the ones to make you want to be all motherly. I am certain, one of their jobs is to erase those crappy, miserable pregnancy memories and leave you with only the good ones so you'll have another baby anyway. Oh Mother Nature, you little sneak.