Now we all know, when I got pregnant with Ella it was a surprise, the best surprise I have ever given myself, I must say and certainly the best surprise EVER from Nick. However, just as much as the pregnancy was a surprise, pregnancy "symptoms" were an additional surprise that I had no idea I would be experiencing!
First and foremost, I was never told by any pregnant person or movie that nightmares can happen when you are pregnant because your hormones are so out of whack. I am not talking your everyday nightmares either, I am talking seriously morbid and disturbing dreams that made me cry and scream in my sleep and Nick would have to wake me up. That would then be followed by at least a half hour of just sobbing while he tried to calm me down but, of course, I am pregnant and therefore incredibly emotional. They were so real and vivid and scary. It was way worse than any "normal" nightmare I ever had. I stopped watching CSI and it helped, a little.
Something else nobody ever thought to tell me was feeling your baby move can make you nauseous. Yes my friends, that can happen. As wonderful, amazing and awe-inspiring as it was to feel Ella move. There were days when her little internal gymnastics routines would send me running to the bathroom. I was predisposed to nausea anyway, as I was one of the unlucky preggo's that not only got "morning sickness" (yeah, right) all day long. I coincidentally didn't escape from it after the first trimester, either. (Just one more thing I was never told can happen.) I was told most women aren't sick after the first trimester, until it happened to me and I started asking around and found out that wasn't entirely true.
Another "symptom" of pregnancy I was never foretold about was severe constipation, which ultimately leads to hemorrhoids. While I knew most women ended up with them AFTER delivery, I had no idea that they can really "pop out" at anytime. I wont say much more than this as I don't want to alarm and/or gross anyone out but the day I discovered mine, with the assistance of a hand mirror, all I could think was "my ass has petals, it looks like a flower" and then I cried a lot.
The last "symptom" I would like to discuss is your bladder on pregnancy. While everyone knows pregnant women pee a lot, nobody and I mean NOBODY told me, you should not attempt to hold it while pregnant. I learned this the hard way. Let me paint the scene for you. I was sitting at my desk at my old job as a customer service rep. I had just drank roughly 24oz of water in the previous hour when the urge to go hit me. I only had 5 minutes until my break, "I can hold it" I thought confidently to myself. No I couldn't, I sneezed out of nowhere and I wet myself, not to the point of empty, but I sure walked swiftly and directly to the ladies room. There I obviously did my business and I threw my underwear away. At least it hadn't gotten to my pants.
There are many other things I was never told about pregnancy, what would or could happen. Those that I discussed were my biggest shocks, a long with a few others I just wont mention. Honestly, I'm guessing no one wants to know, hey, maybe that is why I was never told about them in the first place.
In addition, I think most books "sugar coat" what pregnancy is like. To be honest, I'm pretty sure all the chemicals that are released by your brain after you have your baby, you know, the ones to make you want to be all motherly. I am certain, one of their jobs is to erase those crappy, miserable pregnancy memories and leave you with only the good ones so you'll have another baby anyway. Oh Mother Nature, you little sneak.
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