Importance of Playdates???

OK, so as I sit at my painfully slow computer wishing not only was it faster but that it hasn’t been over three months since my last post. I know I have said this before but boy does time get away from you. I am actually typing this in a word document that I will then copy and paste onto my blog. That is how slow my computer is running. All my other Internet devices are super speedy so common sense tells me it’s my computer, not my Internet. Anyway, what has really pulled me from my stupor is this: Why is it that toddlers need to be around other kids?

Now just bear with me on this one. As a mom home with her toddler, (at least during the day) I am always reminded that Ella needs to be exposed to other kids because of one reason or another. The main reason I hear is so she can learn how to play with other kids. Well, I get it really I do, but shouldn’t the more important lesson be how to get along with others, period. I mean yes, she will need to get along with other children, sure but she also will need to know how to interact with adults, right? My train of thought goes along the track of, isn’t the best person to teach her how to interact with others myself and my spouse? I know how I will expect Ella to behave with others, therefore I feel I am the best person to show her that. I mean, are other toddlers really going to teach her to behave properly? I seriously doubt it. Then you run into the problem of her picking up undesirable behavior from other kids. She sees it’s OK for kid number one to take a toy from kid number two, so monkey see, monkey do and she starts doing it. You then have to again teach them that it’s not OK to take toys away but Mommy of kid one is not teaching the same lesson. So maybe I am more anti-playgroup? I do bring Ella over to play with a few toddlers her own age and she does well, but I know those Mommies well and we are on the same page as far as what is acceptable and what is not as far as behavior and rules.

I am going to venture slightly off topic and ask what do you do when someone else’s kid does something to your kid, that you wouldn’t let your own child get away with? Example, Ella and I were at the library when she took out an abacus to play with while I picked out some books for her for the week. She was just sitting at the little table playing with it, when another girl grabbed it from her, Ella then called for me. The dad of this girl asked her why she was being so naughty that day and that she was making him sad. That was it, not a word about taking the toy or that she should give it back. I just took Ella by the hand told her it was OK and that we were going to go home. In retrospect I wish I would have said something. This was also the same girl that was disruptive during story time and would not stop whining nor would she sit down but kept standing up blocking everyone’s view of the book. I feel Dad should have removed her from story time, clearly Dad is a pushover. Well, I know why she is naughty, you don’t discipline. Duh. ( I have removed Ella from story time when she didn’t want to sit and listen, along with an apology to the group. I am not a hypocrite.)

The above example is just one of the reasons I don’t feel it’s that important to make sure Ella is around other kids on a regular basis. When she is more pre-school age I would make more of an effort but until Ella actually is interested in playing with someone instead of next to them I’d rather not have to deal with naughty kids and their lazy parents. Harsh, I know but in my defense, I do not work as hard as I do to have a well behaved toddler just so someone else’s kid can treat her exactly how I have taught her not to behave. For now she is still my baby and I am still in protection mode, when she can speak well and is a little older it is different because then she will be able to verbally stand up for herself. Plus the things parents let their kids get away with is maddening and I don’t know how long I can bite my tongue.

I would love to hear other reasons it's important to have your toddler around other kids, you know other than germs.

Sooo, It's Been Brought To My Attention.......

It was pointed out to me these last few days that I have not posted in quite a while. Something that I was aware of, I have been very busy. I have been meaning to write something but so much had been going on that I don't know which topic I should touch base on first. Building a fence and getting a permit, good old Minnesota weather, my personal journey to good health, the day at the zoo or the joys of trying to refinance. I think I will go with complaining about trying to refinance our house and what a colossal failure that was.

Apparently, there is not a real good reason to have a great credit score anymore. (After all this, I do not see why they just don't throw it right out the window.) So we were told that we can't refinance our loan because I have only been at my job for four months after not working for over a year. I get what they are saying, truly I do. HOWEVER, in the last four years that we've been in our house, we've never even had a late payment. So, how is it that we would start missing payments when the payment goes down? Sometimes I just wish COMMON SENSE ruled over guidelines.

Why do we even have the credit score and debt to your name system, if they aren't going to use it. Wasn't that whole system designed to be able to tell who is financially responsible??? I mean, I understand you want to give money to the people who make big bucks, but that isn't any more of a guarantee they will pay you back. What has been the point of not having debt and having a really good credit score if it isn't going to help me? No wonder people don't care if they are late on stuff and ruin their credit. It doesn't seem to help you anymore.

It's just so frustrating that they can't see I am trying to prevent late payments, or ruining our credit scores because apparently I can only get help from all these lenders if we are really behind or going into foreclosure. Umm, golly gee whiz that is exactly what I am trying to AVOID!

Starting The Journey To Good Health

I made a big purchase today. I bought a Tread Climber. I had been wanting it for what feels like many many years and finally did it. (Truthfully it's only been a few years, but that seems a long time when you want something like that.) I really wanted a low impact cardio machine and that is what it is. They have a money back guarantee and I will do this and see if I feel it's doing what I am looking for. I know I will actually have to put in the effort and I am OK with that. I am just so excited.

I am planning on doing this in addition to continuing Yoga and Pilate's. I have started doing Yoga with Ella in the morning and she seems to enjoy it. It's so cute watching her do down dog! I just want to be in better health. I want to be a healthy role model to my child. To me that means showing her to take care of herself with nutrition and exercise. I am not planning on eliminating foods from my diet, but teach her about moderation of those foods that really don't do anything for our bodies, (but probably do wonders for our minds, wine and chocolate anyone?).

My goal isn't exactly a size or weight, although I do have a general idea in my mind. Mainly, I want to feel good and feel good about myself. I want to be able to just put on some clothes and not go, "umm, this doesn't look good". I do not want to be really thin, nor do I want to lose all my feminine curves. I feel like 150 is a good weight for me. The number doesn't matter to me so much, I'll know I am at the right weight when I feel great.

On Behalf Of Hair Stylists Everywhere...

OK, I am just going to put it out there, the truth. Every single hair stylist in the business would agree, even if they will not admit it to you. Here it goes I can no longer contain it. If you or your child has stayed home from school and/or work because you are sick, then you shouldn't be coming in and getting haircuts! There I said it and I am going to repeat it too. If you were too sick for work, you are too sick to get a haircut. If your child could not go to school because they were sick, then they should not be getting their haircut. This is truly the only thing I strongly dislike about my job, in fact I down right hate it and according to my brother-in-law, "You shouldn't hate anything." When it's a weekday, before 2:00 p.m. and you/ your child is in my chair, I will ask, "You didn't have school/work today?" The response I hate hearing? "Oh no, I am home sick today." (Honestly, I get this response more than I really should, in fact, I get it more than just a simple "Yup.")

Maybe I am just talking crazy here but if you stayed home because you are sick, why aren't you at home??? When you come in sick I can't tell you to leave but I sure want to, I actually can't even ask you why you aren't home. I will tell you, that the whole time you are with me, I will be thinking it and I am going to be really pissed off if I get sick because of you.  I am going to be even more ticked if my 18 month old ends up sick because I brought it home. Unless you are home sick because it's "morning sickness" and therefore not contagious that is the ONLY exception. Why? Well, because I know you can't catch a pregnancy. Here is some more truth for you, not only could you get me and my co-workers sick but other clients, and all of our families. That is a lot of people that could get sick because you wanted a haircut. I can not tell you how many times I have gotten sick within two days of having a sick person in my chair.

Remember friends, if you stayed home sick, STAY HOME!!!

Decisions, Decisions....

Nick and I need a new mattress, like three years ago. Our dilemma has been do we spend a lot of money on  a good one or do what we did before? We previously spent a little money on one and even though we were told it was a good mattress (darn salesman!) it hasn't held up. There is a permanent dip in the center to which both my husband and I roll into. (To say we spend part of the night trying to get some moving room is an understatement.) It is not the type of mattress you can flip either. I think we have learned our lesson about the cheaper ones but then you start getting into which one is really worth all this money?

There is also the issue of having a chunk of money lying around. So many things seem more important than what we sleep on, but I am starting to feel I can't put a price tag on sleeping well. So I am bringing out the big guns and we will get a new more expensive mattress, my only question is which one? I am looking at Sleep Number beds and I am looking at Tempur-pedic Cloud. I know people with both and they each love them. I'm just wondering which is a good fit for us. It's a lot of money to sleep on and I am nervous we wont make the right choice, for now I will just be reading reviews online and finally we will just have to go shopping and try them out. Won't that be fun? I seriously doubt it.

I know it will be worth it to wake up feeling refreshed and ready for my day instead of laying in there until Ella gets me up. Which I hate doing. I like being up before she is and getting myself set for the day but lately I am just so tired and I know it's from our crappy mattress. Sweet dreams to all and hopefully soon mine will be too.

Where Does The Time Go?

Not only can I not believe it's been about two weeks since I put up a post, Ella is now 18 months. She is halfway to 2. Time goes so quickly, this is how we lose touch with people, lose time with our friends and families. Before you know it you realize that you haven't spoken to someone you really care about in months. We are always on the go and now days everyone has a lot to worry about and stress over. It's hard to reclaim any free time (which really is fun time) between, jobs, kids, housework and running errands. Even working as little as I do, even I feel like I have no time for anything. (Which totally isn't true, I have more time than most.)

This rapid passing of time makes me even more grateful that I am with Ella most of the time. I have an 18 month old, when I swear I feel like I was just pregnant with her. I remember feeling her move the first time and thinking is that her? I know being her mother is one of my great journeys in my lifetime. I know it's going to seem like she grew up in the blink of an eye. Watching my niece and nephew get so much older in what seems like no time at all, I imagine it's even faster as the parent. I have been told it goes fast, many times and I believe them.

I am trying to make every day count. I am so aware that these years will go fast, just like my pregnancy and the first year went fast. Before I know it she will be in school and I probably wont know what to do with myself except work more. I also wont have as much time to play and have fun with her and to just be with her, with school comes sports and other extra activities that will take more "us" time away. That is just the way of the world and I know those days are coming. When her toddler and pre-school years are over, I dont want to have any regrets that I missed out on this early stage of life. We will never again have this much time with our kids, not when school, sports and hobbies start. Well, unless you home school, or you have an unemployed adult child that lives with you. I think I'll take the toddler years.

I Have SUCH A Girl!

I did not expect to have such a girlie little girl already. She is really starting to love being in her dress up things. Sunday, she was insistent on wearing a big frilly ruffled tutu when she found it. Yesterday, was about the butterfly wings and different hats and headbands. Today, it was her mini play apron and a strand of pearls. She gets so excited when I put a dress on her and she is constantly playing with her shoes and wanting to wear them. She also has a sparkly little poodle purse that she likes to carry around. I am not even trying to influence her to be girlie. I am girlie too, but I don't want a prissy little girl, at least she likes to play in the dirt.  I also like that she loves to play with cars. I wouldn't like it if she didn't like to go play outside or if she hated being in the grass.

I want Ella to be well rounded, enjoying all aspects of what it means to be a child not just the "girl" things. Just like boys can like more than just "boy" things, or even end up being a little prissy. I want to buy her a play work bench to go right next to her cupcake kitchen. I am very happy to have a muddy little girl in a dress.

A Time And Place For Everything

OK, so recently I was out with my husband at a very public place and this couple sitting very close to us was completely oblivious to the fact that, there were people around them (shocking, I know). That's great you're in love! I however, do not need to witness the groping, extensive kissing and  entangled cuddling. It's one thing to talk about it with friends, but I do not want to see two total strangers (or anyone I know for that matter) acting like they are sitting on their couch, you know, behind closed doors. I mean her hair was getting all tangled up in his over-gelled George Clooney haircut. I am not anti-affection, quite the opposite actually. I believe in hugging and a kiss on the cheek every time I see someone I love BUT I do this with my husband, my friends and my family. No discrimination, if it's appropriate with my mother in law, I am pretty sure nobody will take offense if I do the same with my spouse. I know no one wants to see Nick and I acting like idiots in public. Nor do I want to see anyone else. A quick butt grab is my limit. If I see a couple holding hands or sharing a quick kiss, I think it's sweet.

To me, it's a cry for attention and overcompensating for something that is missing in your relationship if you feel the need to be all over your other half in public. I don't even care if you just met. You (or both of you) are incredibly insecure if you need to claim your territory. Furthermore if you really can't stand to not be touching each other (get a little self control) maybe you should have stayed home. As in, where no one has to watch you act like a fool. I mean, you wouldn't walk in to a crowded room of strangers and yell at the top of you're lungs that you just LOVE the person you're there with! (Frankly, none of us are Tom Cruise and even he looked extremely silly on Oprah that one time.) When you are all over each other, you might as well be shouting that. It's also dis-respectful plain and simple, not only to the people around you but also to your relationship. That kind of intense affection, is a private matter because with it, you can lead up to an incredibly intimate and very private act. That shouldn't be shared with people if it's going to mean something to you. More than just casual affection, such as making out, groping and grabbing and wrapping yourselves around each other because you just can't get close enough should be done in private. 

I know some people get all riled up when others watch them be super affectionate (or more than that.....) but if that's the case, put it on the Internet. That way the people who actually want to watch you, can, and the rest of us, don't have to.

Heels And Sporting Events

Now we all know one of my great loves in this world is shoes, heels especially, (all you have to do to know that is read the title of my blog). Now even though I love this particular style of shoe I have to say....sometimes it's just not a good idea to wear them. (Gasp, I know!) I was at a Minnesota Wild game last night and saw a few girls wearing HIGH heels. Now, as I said before I love them, but I am sorry you are at a sporting event, you don't look stylish or fashionable because you have dared to wear five inch heels while walking those steep cement steps. You look silly. Every one knows the only place heels and a jersey go together is in the bedroom and that is if you have a die hard fan for your mate. (At least, I thought everyone knew that.) You can be just as cute in flats at a sporting event. Plus everyone will then automatically think you are smarter because, hey, at least you have common sense. A small heel is one thing but a five inch stiletto, not a great idea. If you fall I will probably laugh, I may ask if you are OK, but I will still laugh about it later. I would probably also point out that you fell because of your footwear.

You see girls all the time wearing high heels in silly places. If you are camping, at a fair, at the mall, a sporting event, an outdoor party on grass (heels sink in the grass), a bonfire or the beach. If you wear heels at these places, most people are probably looking at you and wondering what goes on upstairs. That's all I am saying. Wedges are slightly more acceptable but still it's not necessary. No one expects you to be dressed like you are going to a club or a formal event at the game. I totally understand wanting to look cute and dress up. I love to put cute outfits together, but there is a word known as appropriate and sometimes some outfits and accessories are not appropriate in certain environments. Like the chick I saw in a miniskirt last night, in a hockey rink. It's just silly.

And That's OK Because..........

I was at my local WalMart the other day to pick up a few items (I am not a regular wally world shopper but it was right there). What irked me and this is usually why I don't like to shop there because something along these lines happens all the time, is other people at the store.

I am going to the checkout with four things in my cart, well they have one express lane and like four lanes open. The lines aren't really long but long enough that I don't want to wait for the few people with full carts. I start making my way to the express lane, 10 items or less it says, with three exclamation points at the end. Seriously, there are three. Who is waiting in the express lane line but a family with a heaping cart. All I could think is are you serious? Can you not read?? You have like 70 things. So myself and the three people behind me all of whom have less than ten items could not believe these people. I was also surprised the cashier didn't say anything.

I think what ticks me off, is the sense of entitlement suggested by their actions. You know, even though this is meant for a few items for people trying to be in and out I am going to go here, because I don't want to wait in the regular line. I don't know, it might just have been an honest mistake, but I doubt it. (I doubt it because the aisle number that is all lit up to tell you it's open has the ten items or less sign right below and that was also lit up, I do not see how anyone could miss it.)

Our society in general has taken a "every man for himself, I have to go before you, what I want is more important" sort of attitude. People are lacking compassion and courtesy for other human beings in general. I miss when a mother was embarassed when her child took a toy away from or hit someone else's child. Where you used to hear many genuine apologies, now you might hear a begrudging and totally insincere sorry, if at all. I remember when people graciously merged in traffic. When people would let someone go ahead of them in line at the store if they had a lot less things than you.  I just see this less considerate behavior more and more and if we don't do something about it, every generation will get worse and worse until the thought of respecting someone else just wont exist. I miss when "common courtesy" was, well, common.

Spring At Last!!!!

What a wonderful day today! Seventy degrees, in Minnesota, in March!!! Hard to believe, I know! So excited AND it's supposed to stick around. I've been wearing flip-flops for days now!!! It's time for sun dresses, capri's, t-shirts and sandals!!! I have been waiting for this!!!! (Can you tell I am excited? My over use of exclamation points might be getting the point across, right?)

Ella and I went for two walks today, just because it was so nice out and I wanted to be outside. We also went around the yard today to see what's budding and coming up already. (Surprisingly, a lot.) Although, Ella did learn that it's not easy to walk down a steep hill when you had a running start. Poor kid, totally biffed it and didn't even get upset, that's my little trooper. Nick even grilled burgers for dinner. We are already planning to have a fire in the backyard this weekend. I am just singing inside with happiness for the nice Spring weather. It's time for reading outside, long walks almost everyday and picnic lunches in the yard. (I don't even care if the resident ants show up, uninvited.) I am so ready, I even know where the sidewalk chalk and kiddie pool are.

This is my favorite time of year, and Ella seems like she will love exploring outside. All I have to say is, Mother Nature? Keep it coming!!!!

Wow, I Sound Like A Teenage Boy

I have a sinus infection, which is fun (no, I'm not serious) BUT what's really fun is I have lost my voice from coughing. I feel a little like Phoebe on Friends when she had a cold and thought it made her sound sexy. Mostly, I feel like a boy going through his voice change during puberty. If I try to talk louder than a soft voice, my voice cracks and goes up in pitch. Fun? No. Funny? Absolutely!

I was reading to Ella and trying to do the voices like I normally do. I sound so ridiculous that I couldn't help but laugh and then I started to cough. It's just so funny to hear from inside my head. It must be hilarious to everyone actually listening. Today at work the girls were having a good laugh at me and my partially missing voice. Not only did they like it and think it sounded a little sexy, they actually were asking if I would sing. Ummmm, I don't think so, it would be similar to Scuttle the Seagull in The Little Mermaid. Whaaaa wha wha wha wha wha whaaaaaa! I don't want to sound like I am dying and need to be put out of my misery. I am all for people having a laugh at my expense, but I have to draw a line somewhere!

In the meantime I am drinking a lot of tea and wondering when my voice will return. I have never lost it before and I don't know how long these things usually last. Although I am sure some people are enjoying my lack of vocals. (My husband, maybe?) Ha ha ha!

Spring Fever

I just want to look out my window and see green. I am so ready (as I am sure most of us in the northern states are) for Spring. I see all my cute summer dresses and sandals and I just want to wear them. Aaaaaaahhhh, frustration. If it warms up just a little I will be able to make them wearable. We were really spoiled and didn't have a real winter, but I am still so so ready for Spring. I might even say Ella is ready for Spring. She goes in her dresser drawer where I have her Spring/Summer clothes for this year and pulls them out, plays with them and when given the option always chooses a dress. (So far she is her mother's daughter in that respect.) That is the only drawer she tries to dig in. The rest hold pants and pajamas and are apparently just not what she is looking for.

I am just ready for warmer weather, I want to go outside, be in the grass, plant flowers, and not be bundled in layers just to get the mail or when the dog goes potty. I want to see Ella run around our yard (for the first time, as she wasn't walking when it was warm last year).  I want to teach her how to roll down the hill in our backyard. I want to go to the park and push her in the swing and take her down the slide. I want to cuddle with her in the hammock in the back yard and read to her. I want to take her on a picnic. I am just excited for all the things I will be able to enjoy with Ella now that she is bigger. I want to go exploring and show her dirt, bugs and flowers. I want to play outside!!!

I know with a little more patience and a couple weeks it will start to feel more like Spring, I just feel like the bratty girl in Willy Wonka "But, I want it now!" Soon, I will just keep telling my self, soon.

Call Me Crazy, But.......

I was looking through all the cute Spring/Summer casual dresses for Ella at the store the other day when I realized some of them don't come with diaper covers/ frilly bloomers. I don't know why some do and some do not but I am a fan of bloomer diaper covers. Not only are they cute but I don't think diapers should show. I treat Ella's diaper like I will treat her underwear when she is potty trained, that they are not to be seen by most people and not to be seen in public. I just don't see why a diaper should be treated differently than underpants. Yes, a diaper is mainly to catch pee and poop from your little one, but it's also to cover their private area. Which is what underwear is for. We are always telling little girls not to pull up their dresses and to sit with their legs together, because they are not supposed to flash their Disney Princess's and Dora's around. It teaches them to have respect for their bodies and that certain areas are off limits to others.

Unfortunately, the world we live in today is what makes me feel like this. It makes me sad that I cant just be all "she is just a baby" but the truth is I don't know who is looking at her in an inappropriate way and I don't want to give them a reason too. (Whoever "they" may be, sicko's in general, I guess.) We all hear about some of the horrible things that have been done to little babies and toddlers (boys too). I am not paranoid, I am aware. As Ella's mom it is my job to protect her and if in some weird way of thinking I feel covering her diaper is just one thing I can do, I will. I know other mom's who also feel this way. If you wouldn't show your child's underwear, why show their diaper. (Around the house is one thing, I am talking outside the house)

Personally, I am planning on going online and just looking for a bunch of bloomers in different colors to put under dresses we may find that do not come with them at the store and then I will have an assortment. I will probably always get shorts or bloomers to go under dresses when she is bigger and out of diapers, that is if she still likes to wear dresses by then. Call me crazy but for me it just makes sense.

Excuuuuuuuuse Me, Mr. Semi Truck Driver

After running errands with Ella today we were on the highway going home. We ended up behind two semi's, normally not an issue but the first semi was going a little slow. Also the roads were pretty wet because we got a little snow and rain this morning. I being in a car, decided it wasn't worth using up all my blue stuff and constantly cleaning my windshield. (I was a good distance back but man can they spray water.)

Well, sections of the highway will open up to a two mile passing lane, to help keep traffic moving, and I was coming up on one. As I am starting to accelerate, and the "fast" lane opens up, I put on the blinker, move over and I am gaining speed. WELL, semi number two (the one directly in front of me) decided, it was OK to just move over and cut me off. I had to hit the breaks so I wouldn't get hit. It's like being elbowed out of the way! Now, I am right behind a semi spraying dirty road water all over my car, like it's the mommy elephant and I am it's baby. My windshield wipers were on maximum speed which I don't even use in torrential downpours because even they aren't this bad. As semi two caught up to semi one, I experienced a second shower turning on as I was now being sprayed by both trucks. I was able to get in front of them both before the lane ended. I made it through the storm.

I was so ticked, I wanted to flip the bird but I never really have the guts to do that.........EVER. Plus Ella is always watching (even though she appeared to be napping, no bad habits). Seriously though, just because you are bigger than me, does not mean you can throw your weight around and expect everyone to just get out of your way! Isn't that one of the definitions of a bully, physical force??? Obviously, it worked, I moved, but still, shame on you!

Anyone have a similar story?

The Joys Of Toddlers

Even with all the challenges that come with toddlers, I am loving our experience with Ella as she is in the early stages of toddler hood. I am looking forward to all the things she will be starting to do over the next year. I am also looking forward to the warmer weather and all the things we couldn't do together last Spring and Summer. Such as playing outside more, now that she can walk and run....and doesn't put everything she finds in her mouth.

With her getting older, so much more of her personality is coming out. I am loving that she is becoming more affectionate now that she knows it is one way we show we love someone. Hearing her actually talk, watching her run, dance and play. These are things I think people forget about toddlers. You usually hear, "Oh, you have a toddler? ....... Good Luck." I don't see it that way. Yes, toddlers can be challenging, but the rewards from toddlers are so much more. When they run up to you, stand on their tip toes, and turn their face up towards you with puckered lips, nothing is better. It warms your insides faster than hot chocolate on a snowy day. All naughtiness and tantrums from the day are forgotten.

It is such a limited time that we get with our toddlers, while they are really learning and starting so many new things. I am currently enjoying Ella barking at the dog, dancing anytime there is music on, wanting to sit in my lap reading book after book. Everyday I am amazed by her and so grateful that I get to be home with her as much as I am. I am enjoying every minute the good, the bad and the ugly. You only get one shot at your child's toddler years and this is when you lay the foundation for the person they will be in years to come. That is pretty exciting.

The Importance Of Grandparents

Due to recent events, I have been thinking of all the wonderful memories I have with my grandparents. I am ashamed to say that it took them being on the brink of death that put them back to the forefront of my mind. I know as you get older you have less time for many things. After getting married and having Ella, not to mention that my grandparents are almost an hour away, I haven't spent nearly as much time with them as I used to. I am however grateful that we were with them both for the holidays. Maybe I should cut myself a little slack, I did spend a lot of time with them over the years. I am just more upset with myself for taking them for granted and thinking they will always be here.

I was fortunate enough to have wonderful grandparents. Not just my mother's parents, but my dad's too. My paternal grandpa passed when I was only four. I only have a few memories of him, but they are good ones. As I think about how much I am going to miss mine, I am so grateful for how much time I spent with them over the years. I also wonder why so many people don't make more of a priority for their parents and kids to make memories together. I understand if the seperation is to keep your child safe, like your mother is crazy and your father is abusive, but usually that isn't the case. Like me people just become busy. I just think about how much I love my parents, and my in laws, and especially how much I love my daughter and I want her to know them. I want to share her with her grandparents. Grandparents can teach so many wonderful things. They have amazing stories to tell and outlooks on life your child can gain from someone who isn't mom or dad. (Which is a good thing, they just might listen to it more.)

I feel like with every generation, especially when kids get a little older, grandparents aren't a priority anymore. Kids don't know anything about their grandma's or grandpa's life story. They are missing out on all the things grandparents can teach them. I know I will always encourage Ella to talk to her grandparents and let them teach her a few things. I want Ella to have memories with her grandparents like I do with mine.

Whoa, Life!

The last three weeks have been the longest, most stressful weeks I have had in a long time. Which is why the posts have been more scarce these past weeks, especially the most recent. I told you all, we had colds a few weeks ago. Also that I went back to work part time. Going back to work hasn't been as smooth of a transition as I would have hoped. The reasons are as follows.

First, we all were sick. Ella, in particular. Her second ever cold, lead to her first ear infection, which lead to her first round of antibiotics, which apparently has caused her first yeast infection. On top of that she is cutting six, yes, you read that correctly, SIX teeth right now. They are all on top, the middle four and also a set of molars. In addition to all that is going on with her little body, she is having an eczema flair up, all over her body, which she is itching at like crazy. All my usual creams and tricks are slow to help.

Second, not only did my maternal Grandpa pass away, (who I was very close too) after a stroke and a week on hospice. We also found out right before he passed, my maternal Grandma has cancer, that is in her lungs, liver and lymph nodes, we are told it looks aggressive. (Does anyone have some good news??? Anyone??? Anyone at all???)

Last besides the above and very obvious reasons, sleeping is not an easy task at my house right now. With Ella, I don't know if it's the teeth, me going back to work, or her just not feeling well, but she wakes up so much at night now and isn't napping very well during the day. My once rock star sleeper is waking up several times a night, crying and is refusing to nap regularly. All of that is so unlike her, not only does she never cry, she likes being in her crib. I don't know if the naps are because a few times I had to leave for work during her nap, and Nick said she woke up looking for me. It could be her teeth, it could also be we are trying to transition to one nap a day. I have no idea and that is really frustrating. Obviously, the less sleep Ella gets, the less I get.

I know everyone has rough spots. I also know I am far better off than so many others, and I am grateful. I still have to wonder though, when will my life go back to "normal'? My normal, anyway. At the very least, no more bad news, pleeeaaaaaasse!!!!

It's Valentine's Day, So What?

So it's Valentine's Day and honestly, I don't think I really care about most of it. I said Happy Valentine's Day to my husband this morning but what does that really mean? I also told him I love him, which I do every morning when we wake up. Now some may say Valentine's Day is a day to be with your significant other, romance, chocolate, flowers, cards, dinner and diamonds maybe? I am not opposed to these ideas but honestly, why do we associate these things with Valentine's Day. Because we are told to. I would much rather have my husband and I make a big deal about our anniversary, that is our day. Not only that, I want to have time with Nick, romance, dinner and chocolate every day of the year. I can get a card whenever, same with flowers. Diamonds, I have them on my wedding band, I don't need any more than that.

So I have to wonder, why wait for one day (maybe two days a year if you count your anniversary) to treat your spouse to extra special attention and show and/or tell them how much you love them. Everyday can be special, everyday is an opportunity to tell them you love them, that you can't live without them. Even five minutes a day is enough to just stop, give your spouse your undivided attention. It makes such a difference in your everyday lives and how you treat each other. I also extend this to the rest of my family and friends. It shouldn't take a special occasion or a holiday.

I know our busy lives make it difficult and we usually put ourselves and our spouses last on the never ending list of stuff. Valentine's Day is a reminder to make time for your significant other. I just think we should all (myself included) try to make more time for our spouse's because a happy spouse usually means a happy you. It goes hand in hand, you show your spouse love and affection and just offer some time and they will do the same for you.

Happy Valentine's Day! ( I guess to me, I am wishing you a day filled with love, but I wish that for everyone, everyday.)

Changes Brought On By Motherhood

The majority of the population changes upon having a baby. For some they change dramatically, others only subtly. I would put myself somewhere in the middle. (Although I am not sure everyone I know would agree, they would probably put me in that first category.) I wasn't a big drinker, nor did I like to go out all that often, from those aspects I haven't changed much. For others that would be the biggest lifestyle change. Their social life.

Now I think the biggest change for most people is you go from being your number one priority to your baby coming first. For me, it was very natural, I don't even think about it. Whatever is best for Ella is what I do. I wasn't really a selfish person (I don't think, anyway) but I did and got what I wanted. After Ella, I started making sacrifices, with my time, what I spend on myself and needs and eventually what we eat. All just so she could have more or have better. I used to do hair on the side just so I had extra spending money for myself, new shoes, clothes, books, whatever. After having Ella, it's usually spent on things for her; books, toys, clothes, pajamas.

I want to be with her all the time, I hardly ever leave her (not super healthy I know, but I do work part time so we aren't together 24/7). Is it fair to my friends? To Nick? Definitely not. I know I should do things apart from her, not just for work. To have fun or time with my husband, but I am so happy with her. I enjoy being with her so much, I have fun, I laugh, we play, dance and read. I also know this is the only child we are going to have and I don't want to miss a minute of it. I am just thoroughly enjoying motherhood. This will be my only chance, I will never get another one. (We only ever wanted one)

Maybe I have changed more dramatically than I thought I would, who knows maybe it was a big change. All I know is instead of just being a good person, I now want to be the best mother I can be.  Becoming a parent is a BIG DEAL. You are responsible for another life and how they turn out. So I guess that is pretty big. What was the biggest change in your life after your child was born?